I think it depends how you define regret. We humans use the term to means lots of things. So I think a housecat can be sorry that it knocked over your vase (not least if you punish it). But regret and longing for a life well lived? Perhaps not.

It was such a beautiful and warm day today, I had to get out on my road bike to what has become one of my favorite places since I moved to Baldwin Hills - the Ballona Creek bike path. It's a scenic route that goes from central Culver City all the way down to Marina del Rey in under 6 miles. By the end, you are riding on a narrow strip of asphalt surrounded on both sides by water - the creek on one side, and the eastern edge of the marina on the other.

I finished a tough week (hours wise) yesterday, and getting out really brightened my day. Everyone was out on the marina and at the beach, just enjoying the sun. Sailboats glided by, one after one. The path was actually crowded today - the first time I have seen traffic on any bike path in LA. I just love the fact that I can make it out here, seemingly a world away, in what seems like no time at all.

My only complaint is how quickly I got tired - I guess all that sitting on my butt at work hardly helps. I think it's been a month since I took my bike out for a spin, and close to two months since I really went for a ride. A shame, because I really do enjoy it that much.

UCLA loses yet another winnable game on the hapless arm of Kevin Craft. Today, he was worth 24 points to an otherwise very pathetic Arizona State team. That's right. 3 pick-sixes and a field goal. How do you win any games if your offense not only sucks, but your quarterback is consistently gifting about two touchdowns a game to the other team? Craft really is on a roll, with 12 interceptions and no touchdowns in the last 4 games. He'll have some really great throws, and then follow it up with something really, really bad.

The UCLA defense held ASU to an astonishing low of 120 total yards (including 8 rushing) and two field goals, one of which occurred after a Craft turnover deep in UCLA territory. They should be very proud of themselves. But what might otherwise be a shutout turned into a rout in reverse. ASU won by being sneaky and opportunistic bastards, but frankly, they really suck, much worse than UCLA (minus Craft). Arizona will kick the snot out of them next week.

And really? Have you ever seen anything like that freak play where running back Derrick Coleman picked up the ball after Craft fumbled it (the whistle had not been blown, but he apparently has a hearing disability and assumed the play was over), and the ASU defender walked casually up to Coleman, fooling him, just kind of poked the ball out, and ran it back for a touchdown? That was just ridiculous. And that is kind of how our season has gone.

My memories of this football season have been kind of skewed. The memory of awesome wins in the opener against Tennessee and the Stanford game remained too prominently in my head. (That was Craft too, at his best, and even then he had to overcome his own turnovers.) I missed bad losses against Arizona and Fresno State while in South America. Then there was that frustrating loss at the Rose Bowl against Oregon State, where I took this picture of this jaded little girl.

Yes, there's always next year, which looks bright. But can I shut my eyes and not think about the SC game next week?

I promise to post regularly again. There is so much to fill you guys in on - Ecuador, the Galapagos Islands, the whirlwind of the past three weeks that have been my new job. I'm not quite sure to start.

I am tired; I was at work for almost 14 hours today; but I don't want to go to sleep. Not quite yet - I want to enjoy Barack's Obama's victory just a little longer. And I need some time to think.

Credit: Damon Winter for the New York Times

You know, I didn't believe it could happen until it actually did - that all of America (or at least a convincing enough chunk to sweep the electoral college) would turn out in record numbers and vote for a black man. I really didn't think that we, as a people, were mature enough to look past the racial politics that, by and large, still poison our public discourse. Sure, the economy going the way it's going certainly didn't hurt. But the symbolism here runs much deeper than that.

I am excited. I am excited because Obama means so many different things to so many people; and that his appeal is capable of uniting so many diverse backgrounds and viewpoints and demographics. I am enthused by his post-racial, globe-spanning roots; his intellect and deliberative, consensus-building style, heck, even the fact that he has been both law student and law professor. Not surprisingly, when I talk to black people, I see something quite different. I see pure joy in their eyes; pride, approaching giddiness. For African-Americans, this night is something far more visceral, far more indescribable. Colin Powell hailed Obama as a "transformational figure," and that really is true.

But where are we now, at this moment of triumph? In the middle of one of the worst financial crises in American history; mired in two wars abroad that have diminished America's standing in the eyes of the rest of the world; and during a time when our country has never been more deeply divided over issues of culture, race, religion, morality, identity. Certainly, Proposition 8 looks likely to pass, so that is another bridge that we are not ready to cross. The broader prognosis is also grim: our environment is beginning to serious signs of strain, and global courage and leadership are nowhere to be found; while large swaths of our world remain in the throes of political instability, violence, and suffering. And to look to a single man for hope and inspiration - I pray that euphoria does not quickly give way to disenchantment and more of the same.

But just watch that superb victory speech, the way he connected the past with the future, the victory of the moment with the struggle ahead. What kind of world do we want to leave our children, after all? Will we let our differences stop us from what is ultimately possible? His words, and his story, might just be that catalyst. That spark.

I still don't know how to process, to categorize what happened tonight. Sure, I knew it was probably coming: McCain was trailing in the polls, and gee, he sure sounded wistful already with his talk about "savoring the moment" and enjoying the "memories" of his campaign. But in my mind, this sort of thing, electing a black man to the highest echelon of power, just does not happen in America. Never. There is plenty of talk about diversity, and talk is cheap. We have a multicultural and pluralistic society here that is unique among the world's nations, but those glass ceilings and secret biases, publicly disavowed but privately acknowledged, well, they never really go away.

Or do they? As I drove home tonight I felt strangely adrift, as if all the rules had changed. Yes, we can. Just maybe.

I have been particularly productive with my newfound free time in the last week, trying to get everything done before I leave for Quito. This has been the busiest "time off" I've ever had! I'm leaving for the airport now, more later...

I haven't updated this blog in nearly a month and a half. So much has changed since then. Here's what I've been up to in just the last two weeks alone:

• In gratitude for our help on some patent law issues, Judge Wu (who works next door to my judge) took Sameer and me to the Magic Castle in Hollywood. The magic was wonderful and we stayed very late. It really made me feel like a kid again.
• I finished my clerkship just before Labor Day. It was a race to the finish, trying to get much down on paper as possible before I had to leave. I had been working on large cases with a very steep learning curve, so it was imperative that I leave as much as possible for the two incoming clerks.
• Over Labor Day weekend, I went to the California Chinese Catholic Living Camp, a retreat for young adults which took place at the beautiful Mission San Luis Rey in Oceanside. It was fun, exhausting, and has give me a chance to re-evaluate and renew my faith for which I am very grateful.
• I went to the Rose Bowl to see Rick Neuheisel's first game as UCLA head coach. The ensuing (and totally unexpected!) upset of nationally ranked Tennessee, along with the fireworks show afterwards, already ranks up there on my list of all-time Bruin memories. More on this in a separate post.
• I had lunch with my judge, Sameer, Pat, and the two clerks that are replacing us on Friday. It's the first time all year that I had lunch with my judge, and it was really great.
• My friend Delwin got married to his high school sweetheart, Allison, on Saturday. It was fun but tiring, mostly because I helped out at the reception.
• I have a girlfriend now, for the first time in a few years. (I haven't decided yet how much I want to post about her on a publicly accessible forum.)

There has been so much going on in the last 3-4 weeks that, until today, I was fatigued and exhausted. I literally drove from my last day at work to the retreat down in San Diego, and then up again and straight to the Rose Bowl for the Tennessee game. I am still tired out from all that. In addition, singing in the choir at the retreat (roughly about four hours over 2 days) and then yelling my lungs out at the Rose Bowl left me without a voice for most of last week. I certainly don't feel like I'm on vacation.. yet. But I am going to enjoy these next five weeks if it's the last thing I do!

Saturday was my 27th birthday. You know how people always ask, "well, do you feel older?" Most of the time, I just give them a puzzled stare. Why would I?

But this year, the answer was, yeah. I do feel older. And it feels weird.

Twenty-seven has symbolic significance. Unlike the preceding birthday, twenty-six, you can no longer rationalize that you are still in your mid-twenties. After all, twenty-six is only one number after twenty-five. But then you realize that twenty-seven is much closer to thirty than anything else. And thirty is scary.

I've always viewed myself, at my core, as a "young" person, fundamentally immature. For the longest time, through high school and even college, when I wanted an excuse to get off the phone with an unsolicited caller, I would tell them I was just a kid. "May I speak with the head of the household?" "Sorry, sir, he's not available." "And what about you? Would you like to participate in a 15-minute commercial survey on XYZ?" "Well, sir, I'm just a kid. Goodbye (click)." In the past few years, I stopped using that excuse, but some of the mentality behind it still remains.

And where am I now? About to begin my legal career, check. Undergraduate and professional degrees tucked under my belt, check. Not living at home anymore (finally), check. But I still feel so green, in some ways, that i just want to cringe. Every day, I feel like I am on the verge of making some stupid mistake because of my inexperience in life.

Part of this is because my parents have (with the greatest care and affection) supported me for so long. Part of it is because I would probably fall in the category that you call a "late bloomer." But it's this number, twenty-seven, that is forcing me to confront treasured, and previously unchallenged, notions of my identity and my place in this world.

A very interesting birthday, indeed!



P.s. In no way, of course, is this a quarter life crisis. Don't suggest that to me.

“When I picked up my newspaper yesterday, I thought I woke up in France,” Senator Jim Bunning, Republican of Kentucky, said at the hearing. “But no, it turns out socialism is alive and well in America.”

New York Times, "Opposition From Both Parties Over Bailout Plan," 7/16/2008.

We live in scary times. Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, IndyMac, Bear Stearns, Countrywide, New Century Financial. The frightening part is how connected all the parts of our economy has become - from the financial markets to the houses we live in. No longer does the failure of one entity in this chain remain limited to itself, affecting only the shareholders in a single corporation. Instead, it causes reverberations throughout the entire U.S. economy that may be both unpredictable and long-term. And let's not even get into the international ramifications.

All the while, Congress and the Fed vacillate between bailing out these ailing market players, for fear of what will happen otherwise; and paralysis, for fear of aiding those who do not "deserve" to be helped.

And my question, throughout all of this, is -- how could we not see this all coming? The house of cards was bound to fall.

I was bored with the long weekend and all, so yesterday evening I biked down the LA river path again to see how far south I could go. Though the road is bumpy and not maintained south of Fletcher Dr. (roughly where the 5 Freeway hits the 2), that just makes it more interesting.


It's a scenic little path that takes you by a tiny neighborhood wedged in between Dodger Stadium/Elysian Park and the river. It ends right where the 5 merges onto the 110 South, near downtown. Foot traffic is diverse - strollers, dog walkers, fishermen (apparently, fish can survive here), river gazers. Most were Latino, but there were a surprising number of Asian people, as well as some black and white folk. A lady who looked very much like a gypsy had made her home in one of the alleys that extends out to the river.

But the real highlight was just past that point: a little cave area, created by the 5 freeway overpass, within eyeshot of San Fernando Road. It's deserted, filled with junk nobody wants -- and a tagger's paradise. Debris and empty spray cans littered the place, and colorful murals, mostly artist names, covered the walls. I ran into a lone Latino guy busy whiting out somebody else's art with a paint roller, presumably so he could replace it with some of his own. (I startled him a bit.) There's some fascinating junk down there, too -- like the rusted hulks of abandoned, 1970s-era cars. Those have been painted over as well.



Finding this place really made my day. A little manmade cave, an odd coming together of concrete pillars and California bedrock, is in a sense both literally and figuratively buried beneath the freeway - the core of the Los Angeles car culture. Forgotten by some, but not all.

It's been a relaxing day here in the hood. No barbeques, no parties, but a great day nonetheless. Maybe I'll catch some fireworks later.

If I was going to a party, it would look something like this:

In my last post, I complained that the subway was not convenient enough as a sole means of transportation. However, my analysis was woefully incomplete, because I didn't mention anything about how many people actually ride this thing on a daily basis.

In fact, there's been serious uptick in ridership on the Red Line compared to even a month ago. In the mornings, for example, there are no empty seats by the time the subway gets to the Hollywood-Western station, four stops from the northern terminus of the line in North Hollywood. (Most of them appear to be coming from there, and two-thirds of them get off at the 7th and Metro station in the middle of downtown, which is a connector to the Blue Line to Long Beach.) Apparently, higher gas prices are finally changing people's behavior.


Even with this in mind, the 4:40 pm Red Line service to Hollywood blew my socks off. Only one stop from Union Station, the southern terminus of the line, the subway was already crowded; when you add in the impossible crush of new passengers boarding at the 7th and Metro junction, the result is akin to packing sardines into a tin can. (See photo above.) Every time I moved a body part, I would bump someone. What's going on here?

The saddest part is that the increased ridership on public transit has not been accompanied, as far as I can tell, by lighter traffic on the freeways. It sure doesn't feel that way. At 6:30 pm this evening, the Harbor and the Santa Monica freeways were moving somewhere between 5 and 15 miles per hour. One can only hope that this is not the future of transportation in LA.

(If you're wondering why I took the subway and drove a car on the same evening, it's because I went to Hollywood after work to visit the optometrist and go to the gym. I have to drive to work, but I figure I can still take public transportation for other things. Sadly, I got to the optometrist too late and they had already closed. This was in part because boardings on a packed subway take three times as long.)

I moved back home last weekend to keep my mom company. Since gas is so expensive, the Red Line is so convenient to Hollywood, and my dad (with whom I can usually carpool) is out of town, I decided to make this week an exercise in mass transit. Specifically, I decided not to use a car to get to work. On Tuesday, I stuffed my suit into a small backpack and rode my bicycle to the Red Line stop at Hollywood and Vine (I left my bike in the parking structure of my conveniently located gym).

Our house is roughly 2 1/2 miles from the subway, which doesn't sound bad at all except it is on a hilly street that presents a 400-500 foot climb from street level (judging from Google Maps' terrain feature, and by how tired I was upon biking up said hill). It's probably a 35 minute walk to the station.

The verdict: even so close to a convenient, dedicated transit route, it is still too much trouble for me to rely solely on the Red Line. Biking turned out to be a logistical challenge, especially since I have to dress up in a suit and tie when I go to work and I don't want to get them all sweaty. It's also tiring. It takes about 45-50 minutes each way (this includes biking, waiting for the subway, riding the train, exiting the station, and walking to the courthouse), compared to a 15-25 minute commute by car. There are other drawbacks: it becomes difficult to carry anything (I started leaving my suits and excess articles at work); it depends on good weather (do you want to walk or bike for half an hour in the rain?). As a variation, I have tried parking in Griffith Park and walking roughly half a mile to the subway. This is more convenient, but it's still a pain, and they tow your car if you don't move it before dark. What if I want to go to happy hour after work?

Basically you give up flexibility, you give up independence, and put yourself at the whim of the inconsistent Red Line train schedule. In theory, it should be easier than it is. For example, one wonders why Metro didn't plan park & ride facilities at Red Line stations, the way that say, BART does in the Bay Area? (My guess is that they were too busy constructing the white elephant that is their lavish headquarters behind Union Station.) Is it worth all this trouble to save on gas?

Cost-wise, yes. Five round trips per week only costs $12.50, which my employer reimburses in full. If you drive, the gas alone will probably run betwen 2-3 times that. Environment-wise and traffic-wise, yes. But in terms of hassle, lost opportunities, and expenditure of energy..

..gas is going to have to get a lot more expensive before that happens.

Anyway, since I live in Baldwin Hills now, and there's no direct public transit from there to downtown, it doesn't matter. I have to drive.

I've spent the morning packing up my stuff so that I can move out to my new place. However, it's taken much, much longer than I anticipated. A big part of that is that I've delayed packing for a long time, thinking that it would be easy.

I'll miss my room. It's been my domain for 18 years now. But despite periodic reorganizations, sometimes the amount of junk -- stuff that is left over from grade school, high school, college -- just overwhelms me. I don't throw it all away (and I have thrown away a good deal of stuff) because of the memories. But then the memories confine me (or at least, all this junk is restricting my freedom of movement.) The best thing I can do is make a clean break.

The cycle begins anew.

I have been living life for the past week and a half in fast forward. After a long stretch of time where life felt routine, everything is happening at once: I've been really busy at work; I need to move into my new place; and I am leaving for my weeklong vacation in Costa Rica tonight. So far, so good...

I went to Angeles National Forest yesterday and had a blast.. and today is my sister's graduation. Argh!

The walls have been painted, the hardwood floors are refinished, and this weekend my family and I moved some stuff out to the new place where I'll live with my sister. I'm really excited. It's still really bare right now, and not all the construction dust has been wiped away. But I just wanted to share a shot from my new bedroom!

Some things you might notice:

• I still need a bed frame.
• The weird window to the right of the picture is the counter of the walk-in bar. I fully intend to make it functional (starting, perhaps, with some bar stools.)
• Henry the Hedgehog is back. He obviously needs some air, as he's spent the last year in storage, in his deflated state.

My sister just finished her last law school final. She graduates in another week and a half at a ceremony at beautiful Loyola Marymount University (notwithstanding the fact that the law campus is a separate location in urban Pico-Union). I'm proud of her! I've watched her grow from a hapless 1L who didn't know how to write into a polished 3L who writes in spare and efficient prose, and who knows just how much to cram for a test so she can ace it and still have time to go out partying afterwards. (She knows how to fit 'having fun' with work about as well as anyone I know.)

However, I asked her if she was excited to be done and she said no. "I have to study again in 3 weeks," she explained, referring to the California Bar.

Of course, she gets to do it while residing in our new place. Her and I are moving out starting this weekend. Living at home has been fun, and convenient, and cost-efficient, but I guess it's time for a change. (I still like the idea of carpooling every day with my dad and/or taking the subway, which I won't be able to do from Baldwin Hills.)

On an interesting and unrelated note, it's been a year to the day of my law school graduation. It's hard to believe it's been that long.

I got back about an hour ago from a night out with some old friends - Nathan, Christine, and Janis. I worked with them two summers ago as an extern in Judge Otero's chambers. Nathan & Christine were his clerks; and Janis was a fellow extern. We've kept in touch, more or less, but only infrequently.

I have very fond memories of my 1L summer, which was the first law-related job I ever had. Up until that point, law school for me had been a dry, abstract proposition. I didn't understand what litigation was like in practice. It didn't make sense, in a human, practical sort of way. So it really opened my eyes, to see how cases move along, how judges approach cases, and to be exposed to the ways in which lawyers manipulate the legal system. I sat in on four trials and got my real introduction to intensive legal writing (that contrived class they teach to all first year law students doesn't really count). It gave me a perspective on the law that I drew on for the rest of law school - a foundation that I could build on.

I also had a lot of fun. In fact, I look back on it as one of the best times in my life - not bad for an unpaid position. My co-externs were a dynamic and varied group. And Judge Otero's two clerks, Nathan and Christine, were a fun-loving, mischevious and raunchy (!) duo who got along very well with each other, and with us. Our two-hour lunches were the stuff of legend (after we left, the Judge apparently instituted a rule that lunches could not be quite so drawn out). The good old days, as it were.

Nathan & Christine were my role models during that time and taught me a great deal. The bar that they set motivated my own decision to clerk after law school. They were efficient and well-oiled clerking machines (and eight months into my own clerkship, I don't quite feel that I am at nearly that level) - yet managed to keep a great work-life balance. They were the gold standard of clerking, so to speak. I'll always be grateful to them for that.

So nearly three years later, some things haven't changed. We still laugh and joke about The G's sketchy behavior (which she always denies). And it's just relaxing and enjoyable to hang out with them again. Both of them are at private law firms now, and one thing that scares me is that they are both working so incredibly hard, and they're a little frustrated as a result. (Janis, who has also started working for a firm, is having a similar experience.) So that's probably what lies in store for me, as well.

I'll admit there was too much bitching about work for my taste. But hey, for the three of them, work is what consumes their existence, so it is not surprising. Once we got that out of the way, though, it was good times.

I recommend Dong Il Jang on 8th Street just east of Western, by the way, in Koreatown. Their kalbi and bulgogi are delicious.

Did you know that Kareem Abdul-Jabbar had a blog? I sure didn't. Which is why I was pleasantly surprised when I stumbled upon his Los Angeles Times-hosted blog site. Kareem is one of those celebrities/sports stars that I didn't know much about, except by reputation. One of the UCLA basketball greats, and later a legend with the Lakers. So it's a real treat to hear it from the horse's mouth.

The thing, is, it's not just that he is famous, but that his blog is actually pretty entertaining and thought-provoking. He has a wide variety of interests, ranging from the Lakers (he is on the inside as a manager and consultant, I think) to music (Herbie Hancock, Nina Simone), to politics. One the best topics he's covered, and one of his favorites, is staying in shape as you age. Obviously it's something he's going through personally, but he always writes in such an accessible manner that you don't have to be a legendary 7'2" athlete with a sky hook to appreciate it.

Kareem is quite an interesting character study. He is smart and intellectually active. He's also fully conscious of the unique position he occupies in society, how he got where he is, and the nature of his celebrity status. Yet at the same time, he's incredibly modest. He acknowledges his sports achievements in a matter-of-fact manner, but clearly refuses to be limited by them. (Tongue in cheek references to the Sky Hook abound in his blog.) He reads his comments and seems to genuinely appreciate hearing from his fans across the world.

One of the most interesting tidbits mentioned in his blog is his association with a company called Iconomy, which he describes as "representing celebrity icons in their quest to achieve more than momentary success." What a great idea. Take that momentum and run with it. Certainly, he's written six best-selling books on African American history, among other things. So already, one can easily label him a historian, not just a basketball player.

Not that I agree with everything he puts up. His recent post on "Horton Hears a Racist" is a bit off the mark. For one, it would be more aptly named "Horton Hears a Sexist"; and anyway, it's such a trivial nitpick at the Dr. Seuss movie adaptation that I don't know why he bothered. Still, his heart is in the right place.

So, heat has the opposite effect on me than cold. While I just want to lie around in bed and do nothing when it gets cold, a hot day is an incentive to for me to go outside and do something interesting.

Temperatures this weekend hovered in the low to mid 90's. Sweltering, yes, but I had the most enjoyable weekend in a very long time. It was the perfect mix of things - work, play, exercise, friends, shopping, and, of course, sleep. Among other things, I went swimming, went on a bike ride, hung out with a friend at the Santa Monica Promenade, and went shopping at REI for my upcoming trip to Costa Rica. Admittedly, I had to stop in at the office for a couple of hours after lunch (pho with the choir), but even that was enjoyable.

I had to work pretty much straight through last weekend, and that's one of the reasons I feel so much happier and relaxed now. In retrospect, even that wasn't so bad. I made sure to mix in some fun stuff too. I went to watch a concert after work last Saturday -- my friend's friend is in a musical group [The Strada Trio] -- and they were quite impressive. (You can listen to their live performance over the Internet from that link, too.) But the problem with cramming work in with play like that, however, is that there is so much time pressure. Personally, I like having some time to just sit around, think, and well, veg.

Forget work-life balance. I have an inherent need to sit around and waste some time once in a while.